Merry Christmas from VF

Yesterday Todd received a package from UPS... In it was a DVD and a card signed by many of the employees in Reading. I wasn't too sure I could watch because I was afraid it would make me cry but it was nice... The last clip is of the Crossville store. This is Todd's buddy, Jay and his team. Instead of crying.. it brought a huge giggle to us!

We thank everyone who participated in this video to make Todd feel special.

It's hard to be super excited about the Holidays however so many people have come forth to help bring us the 'holiday cheer.' Again, I thank each and everyone of you!!!

Today starts a busy start to the Holiday weekend.. we have a few last minute items to get. Todd wants to run those errands with me so he will sit in the car while Ty and I run in. We will also meet our friend at our favorite wing joint... Craven Wings.

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and we will go to the Bloomfield's for dinner, presents and games. Then on Christmas Day we will meet my mom and step dad at church then go back to their house for lunch and presents. I am sure by Sunday afternoon he will be beat!

I am going to try and sneak a photo of the 3 of us this weekend. Todd's been stingy on the photo taking since he says he's bloated from steroids. I think he's great so I will force the photo issue and I will force the NO Sweat pant rule for the weekend. :)

Merry Christmas to everyone and again... thanks for all the support during this crazy time!

Enjoy the day...

So as many of you know... or don't know... I read many many different brain tumor blogs, forums at night before I go to bed. When I found the above saying, I knew it went with our family motto. We really do have so much to be THANKFUL for every day, but more so we need to be thankful to see the next day ... we really do. Yes, my family has been dealt a crappy hand but we are surviving and we will continue to do so. I won't say that I get down in the dumps about our 'situation' because I do however it does me or my family no good to be crabby about it so for now... we will continue to stay positive.

Last week on my forum reading, I e-met another woman in a similar situation as ours... Her hubby is being seen by Dr. D at Duke and he is getting ready to start the same chemo concoction as Todd. They are young like us and have a small daughter, 2yrs old. She has what appears to be a wonderful support system at home! I'm adding her site to mine just so we can get more prayers going her way. They are a bit of newbies compared to us so I can completely empathize with everything she is going through. Her hubby's name is Josh and here is her site.

Like clockwork, the diarrhea has hit since his last chemo treatment on Friday. Once it hits, he is down for the count for a few days. His speech is still pretty crappy, vision is ehhh (just depends on how tired he is), balance is better, hand/arm strength is almost fully pre-tumor back, mouth sores are gone and hair loss comes and goes.

I'm home until January 3 so hopefully we won't kill each other between now and then. I've tried to make Christmas as fun as possible for Ty and now we are creeping on just a few more days. I can honestly say though, I am ready to get past the holidays and focus on the 'whats next' stage.

I know I say in almost every post how THANKFUL I've been to our supporters. This week we've seen some amazing support (spoken and unspoken), we've been touched by some amazing people and we have another crazy family that easily accepts us for what we bring to the table and hangs out with us. I can't say Thank You enough to everyone... I can't even keep up with Thank you cards, LOL..

This weekend is Christmas and I'm sure it's going to be way too much for Todd but we will roll with the punches and do whatever is necessary to make Todd comfortable. He will have a scan on the 28th, blood work on 29th and chemo on 30th. Anyone know what the 30th is???

I will post when I think of something else to say... :)

The Clan...

We had a SECRET Santa....

Without going into my long drawn out details like I always do, I'm going to hit the highlights.

Yesterday The Bloomfield's were given SECRET Santa gifts.. I still have no clue but I know who 'helped' them get the list. I say 'them' but in reality, I have no clue who it is!

I prefer to not go into details of what was given but to shout out to who put this together. Yes, I've been bah-hum-bug. Yes, I've been Christmas crabby... I fully understand all of that! :) Last night though made me realize that someone special has been putting this together for us because they had the Christmas spirit.

Part of me felt bad and sad... Sad and bad because I knew that there were people way less fortunate than us but so thankful that someone took the time to have MY family on their minds and hearts.

I cried.. I cried most of the way home... I cried once I got home and I cried for a good portion of the evening. Everything that was purchased for us was on the MASTER Christmas list... A few of the items were Kim/Todd items that were taken off because we knew we more important things to spend our money on this month!

My mom and old faithful, Amy told me to take it, be gracious and accept it... It was given to us because it was important for someone to do! I had a hard time accepting it because if you don't know us well, I've never asked for a dime throughout our medical challenges and I don't intend to!

I said I wasn't going to ramble on and I have done so... I really don't know what else to say except THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU. I know I have wonderful friends and supporters and we appreciate you. We will know when the time is right to PASS IT ON and it will be in honor of our SECRET SANTA.

This week...

I will keep this short.

Life has started to settle down.. nothing has changed with any of Todd's side effects as previously posted and now the poor guy has hair loss. :( Boo, hiss, Boo, his...

He took it like a champ and on Saturday, we shaved his head. He always had short hair so it wasn't a complete shock. Still hurt my feelings to know why we were shaving it!

Todd ventured out on a small bit of driving last week. He managed to take Ty to guitar. This was a big step as he hasn't driven in almost 1 month! This week he helped me when my car battery died. It was nice to have 2 people driving again! I say that but he doesn't need to be driving for the fun of it, just for necessities.

Treatment again on Friday and from there we start the Christmas week! Friday is my last day at work and I can't wait for all of us to be at home together..

Until we meet again..

The Clan

The list of icky's continue

I feel extremely bad for Todd. The list of icky-ness truly continues for him. We are going on 1 full month since he has felt bad, foggy or icky. He's now added diarrhea,nose bleeds and thrush in his mouth to the list of issues, in addition to still not being able to see 100%, balance issues, fatigue, speech, nausea and bruised all over his arms!

The diarrhea, nose bleeds and thrush mouth is all from the cpt11 and avastin. I have more immodium in this house to sink a ship... we have more tissues in this house to sink a ship and now we have a rinse called 'magic mouthwash' to help him with his mouth sores. He said the mouthwash might be worse then all of the above...blah....

I'm about 1 week behind on posting. Last week was Thanksgiving and it was an awkward but a nice one. Since we didn't know how everyone was feeling, we made no plans. My mom cooked a meal so she could share with us and last minute the Bloomfield's decided on a dinner (if you remember, Todd's mom had Chemo on Monday before Thanksgiving and wasn't sure if she could do Thanksgiving). I dropped Todd off for a few hours and then Ty and I went to my moms. I don't think we have ever spent a Thanksgiving apart. My mom had a great dinner but it was just the 4 of us (Her, Pops, me and Ty) around the dining room table. Afterwards I went back to get Todd and we went home. He was beat.. beat..and beat.. even from doing nothing.

After a day of full rest, Friday, Todd woke up on Saturday wanting to go out for breakfast. This was one of the first requested outings... I think we pushed Saturday too much because he was miserable on Sunday. (We also went to the movies Saturday night).

Brings us to this week... On Friday, 12.3, we saw the Dr and they opted to do both treatments that afternoon so we didn't have to go back again on Tuesday. He was at the infusion center for over 5 hours. I think he tolerated it fairly well. The next few days will tell us the real story.

Ty had his first ever basketball game on Saturday and Todd was determined to go... The boys won their game and Todd and Ty had great basketball conversation. We went out to lunch with our friends and then on to home to hibernate.We've been hibernating ever since. :)

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Now on to my blah blah blah thoughts...

I have never been one to adapt to change easily. I feel like my family has been through so much change in the last year. It kinda sucks! We've learned to adapt to how things are now and we are moving forward. I am so lucky that Tyler embraces change without any 'issues' because I know a lot of kids who struggle with it. Ty's school counselor tells me every month how lucky we are to have a kid who is adaptable. :) I am very thankful for that!!! Change will keep me on my toes, Change will make me see things in a different light and Change will make me appreciate many things... I have to keep telling myself that everyday. We are a stronger, more united team/family because we've had to adapt to CHANGE!!!

I found this quote while looking for something else and I think it's a bit appropriate.

Don't be afraid of change. You many end up losing something good, but you will probably end up gaining something better. ~~~unknown

We've lost our old life but I know that what we are gaining will be better... just waiting to see it!

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That's it for now... All is slowly, very slowly moving in the right direction. I've been very humbug this year so I am now trying to get in the Holiday spirit. I guess this week it's finally time to put a Christmas tree...better late than never!

If anything changes, I will let you know. I still appreciate all those people who consistently call, text or stop by. People truly come out of the woodwork in a time of need and we appreciate it!

Happy Holiday's everyone (see I'm trying)

The Clan....

This weeks plan...

If you know me well, you know I like PLANNING... So, this weeks plan went or is going to go as follows (lets see if it actually ends up this way.)

Todd went to see Primary today to learn that he is not considered diabetic YET but he needs to have a limited sugar diet, check his sugar 3-4x a day and report back to Primary next week to review levels. His levels were a bit high but nothing crazy.

In the meantime, I spoke to Carol (see previous post) and she said that Dr. Avery and Dr. Desjardin spoke about the next steps since radiation is currently out of the plans. He is going to start on a every other month IV chemo called CPT11. It appears to be a bit nasty but they are giving me all the tools to combat it as best as we can. He will start that tomorrow and then on Dec 2 he will be on a schedule of that and Avastin mixed...what a nasty cocktail!

Nothing improved over the weekend... his balance is still crappy, he feels crappy (bodywise), has no energy and still can't really see. He is not allowed to drive and frankly, I'm not sure when he will. I asked Carol (nurse) he could possibly see a bit of improvement and she said possibly 7-10 after chemo so I won't hold my breathe and we will keep trucking along.

His spirits are doing pretty good considering. I'm sad for him because he can't do anything he wants to do. We had a nice weekend just lounging around watching football and movies. This week for Thanksgiving we are just waiting and seeing how he feels. I opted to be non-committal since we are in a 'who knows' mode.

As always, thanks again for the support, calls and well wishes! If I have anything to update then I will tomorrow.

The clan....

Who are our Dr's???

I keep throwing Dr's names around and I am sure you all are so lost on who is who so I thought I would clarify. This list is just who we are seeing currently....

Primary Care Physician-Dr. Brian Mosrie, Knoxville
Oncologist-Dr. Bruce Avery, Knoxville; Nurse-Carol
Neuro-Oncologist-Dr. Annick Desjardin, Duke; Nurse-Michelle


That's the list of our currents... We have a really big 'ship' however just a few are sailing right now.

How much more can we take?

It was confirmed today that Radiation could not be done to the area... this was by Dr. Boppana. I called Duke and they would like the 'official' scan sent to them so they can have their Radiation Oncologist look at it (done holding breath.) So, will just wait and see...

Dr. Avery called (can you keep up with all these dr's? I can barely) today to tell me that Todd now has Steroid Induced Hyperglycemia (results from yesterday's blood tests)... So, on Monday we go back to his primary care physician to get a glucometer and insulin prescription. When I spoke to Duke, she said it should go away when he stops taking the large amounts of steroids. The steroids are doing a nasty number on his body. He is starting to puff up and he is not sleeping at all. I think he said he is sleeping solid about 3-4 hours. To top it off, he feels like ultimate crap!

Today was his first treatment of Avastin. It went well (easy for me to say.) They told me that he would feel 'Yucky' for the next few days and my response was 'I don't think he could get much worse.' :( There is nothing at all I can do for him... my heart is sad. I'm a fixer and I can't fix this.

We have absolutely nothing planned for the weekend. I need a weekend to decompress and get caught up on bills! I'm sure his weekend will consist of college football on the couch!

Like I said in the earlier post. I'm tired and done with this week... See you all Monday!

P.s. Thanks for the continued texts, calls, emails...

The Clan

One Step Forward, Half Step Back

Yesterday we met with Dr. Boppana- the Knoxville Radiation Dr. We also received a call from Dr. Maylapa- Florida Radiation Dr., stating he was concerned about doing radiation since the new tumors were so close to the brainstem. We opted to wait and see what Dr. Boppana said...

Dr. Bopanna expressed his concerns as well and he is waiting for the Fl. group to overnight a disk showing exactly where radiation was done. He explained that even the outskirt areas received radiation last time and he can't risk it if they are close. Dr. Boppana said he would let us know something by Monday (always the magical day) and we could go from there. So for now, Todd will start Avastin and continue on his merry way.

I'm done... I'm tired... I cried. I cried a off and on last night. This is so draining emotionally. In addition, I was sad that we couldn't attend our friends funeral. For so many reasons, Todd did not need to be there.

I know there is eventually a light at the end of the tunnel. The light seems dim today however... it's still there!

I will post again about his first treatment but this was yesterday's news (Thursday.)

Final Pathology Reports

A bit of back story... I spoke to Dr. D on Friday evening. She called to check on Todd and talk to me about what I 'knew.' She said it appeared the tumor cells were at least a grade 3 and it was possible that there were some grade 4 cells. (Grade 4 cells would be the worst and hardest to battle) As true Dr. D fashion, she explained the only bright side of grade 4 cells-no insurance denial, she comforted me by explaining that the new cells were found early and she was our team leader to help us fight... I just love her! I secretly dwelled over the weekend and prepared for the worst. I planned on hearing the results on Monday so I kept my phone by my side and every right or vibrate, my heart raced. By 6pm on Monday... no call :(

Ok, Tuesday is a new day... Dr. D called about 10:45. She said 'I have a bit of good news." I think I cried a bit... This is what she told me:

• Tumor is an ANAPLASTIC ASTROCYTOMA
• Grade 3 but still have grade 2 mixed in (best case scenario)
• Chance of Mitosis-I had to ask what Mitosis was... The chance of it dividing and making more cells were rare, 5-10%.
• Start Avastin-which I learned from Dr. D is more of a vaccine type of drug and is not a chemo drug. Apparently it blocks the blood to the tumors so the tumors can't function. Every other week via IV.
  
• Start Radiation-will have to add another sailor to our ship... We have a Radiation Oncologist but he is in Florida so now we need a Knox Radiation Oncologist.
• Once radiation starts, continue on Temodar- chemo he has been on, taken orally.

That's the highlights... It wasn't horrible news for the situation. Todd's in miserable shape. I called him a 70 year old man and really right now, he's probably in the shape of an 85 year old man. He has horrible dizziness and he balance is so unstable. He can really only get around from kitchen to couch to bed. Since he's a fall risk right now, I don't even want him moving around that much. He's only allowed to shower when someone is at home and he's not driving right now. He also has very slow, slurred speech. It almost sounds like he is drunk... I talked to Dr. D about that and she said this should improve with increased Decadron (steroids) and over some more time. I was told the Cerebellum (brain) heals very well and within the next few days he should be improving.

Tomorrow we plan to meet the Radiation oncologist then we are off to a 'teaching' of Avastin and for him to make sure all his levels are OK in order to start Avastin. If all goes well, Avastin will be started on either Friday or Monday.

Shew, it's a lot of information and somehow I am keeping up. This juggling of caregiver, wife, mother, employee, friend and whatever else is so draining. :) I struggle with saying my peace sometimes and I know that too is wearing on me (I typically have no problems speaking my mind either, LOL). So, new focus...

Ty is being a trooper. I have poked and prodded to get some emotion out of him however he's not ready to show any. He says he's fine and he understands the situation... He's been a great help with Todd around the house. I am waiting for him to 'crack' but all is good at this time. I think it is important for his life to remain as consistent as possible so I will do what I have to do to accomplish this.

I appreciate everyone who has called, texted or stopped by. It has definitely been noticed. I've told everyone that we are good on food. A few people have slipped some goodies and of course, I won't turn you done BUT for now we are good. Like I said in a previous post, I froze like crazy a few weeks ago. I appreciate the food but moreso we appreciate your support and acknowledgment. Without all you guys, we would be lonely! :)

As we finish this week, I should gain a lot of new information. Next week is Thanksgiving so not sure how much treatment stuff will be done. I will be home Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, this will be a great time to decompress!

I have struggled with being happy with the results because yesterday our friends lost their husband and son in law to pancreatic stage 4 cancer. He was diagnosed less than a month ago... I'm so happy there are options for Todd but so sad that someone we know lost their rock and loved one in such a short period of time... I can't imagine the pain they are going through but realize that it could be anyone. Life is short... appreciate those around you, love those around, support those around you... even if you don't know how!

Thanks all... will update more this week after dr's appointments!

The Clan....

We are DONE... for today anyways. :)

Whew what a long flippen day! As you know it was to be done at 4 and well.. he didn't start heading that direction until about 6:45. Once he got down there, pre-op, they told me to hang tight for a few minutes... I had enough time to run and get a drink. They had me come back and sit with him while waiting... waiting and more waiting... Apparently, they had a super busy day today and they were way behind. OK, where else do we have to go. The pre-op nurses were wonderful and we all made small talk. We met with so many different people and they went over what their roles were...

Dr. Desjardin came by and reassured Todd about the procedure, held his hand and told him that she will do whats in his best interest. They made a few jokes and she said she would come by or call us in the am (if we were already gone.) Her and I stepped outside (where I got teary eyed... must be her, LOL) and I asked what the best case scenario was. She explained all the types of tumors in her French accent... I got about 1/2 of them. She said best case was a Grade 2 but she thinks its a Grade 3. We discussed that if it was a Grade 3, he was still in the 'good' because it was caught so early and treatment could start right away (within a week, brain has to heal.) She hugged me and wished us well...

After an hour of waiting in pre-op and now 8pm they were ready for him to go... I kissed him through the head thingy, told him it would be ok and headed out to waiting area. Within 30 minutes, they called to say that the first incision had been made. Within the next 30 minutes, I had a call saying he was done and all went well. The lady handed me the phone and he said he was feeling well and very thankful to have the halo off!

I met them back up in our room and within 5 minutes, Dr. Friedman called to say that it is definitely cancer and it appeared to be a Grade 3. We will know more within the next few days. I thanked him and now off we go waiting on our new plan. Dr. Desjardin will give us our plan within the next few days once the full pathology report comes back.

The staff here has been more than excellent. We've had a great trip here and pleased to have chosen this group! They've been very hand-holding.... :)

Since it was done so late, we are sleeping in the room again. I think I will need a massage when I get home to fix my back. The chair hasn't really been too bad but I will look forward to being in my own bed tomorrow.

I think thats it... he wanted food and a soda so I immediately did that. He has 5 holes in his head-4 from the halo and one from the biopsy. 2 needed stitches... They said he might have black eyes so if you see him out just know I didn't do it!!! LOL

I can't thank those enough for everyone who consistently prayed for us today. I had so many people coming out of the woodwork.... it was awesome. I know we have many people that are on our side and it's very reassuring to hear from you all.... A simple text is just enough.

We have a busy road still ahead so I will take many of you all up on food offers, hang tight...

Off to try to sleep.... I've thanked God multiple times today for bringing him back to me... Ty and I need the little sucker! :)

Nite all!!!

KB

Oops, here are a few pics from today!

Still waiting...

Well, we are still waiting... surgery was scheduled for 4 and it is now 4:40. I guess we really have no place to go, I just know he is tired of waiting.

They came and put the halo on at about 12. The Dr who did it asked me to stay in the room... I knew I wasn't up for that type of thing but I did it anyways, LOL. Big mistake. Todd did wonderful. I could tell he was in a bit of pain as he said he was. Once I heard him tell of the pain AND I saw the blood, I got hot, sick to stomach and started to have a panic attack. Whoops, who is the patient now?!?! I went out of the room, got some water and waited outside. Dr. asked me to come back in (he was a funny man so I think he was just trying to lighten me up) and I did... saw the blood and bam.... i thought I was going to pass out cold. Left the room as fast as I could and darted for the exit. I got lost because I went the wrong way... Poor nurse had to help me find my way to fresh air before I dropped over. Funny now... wasn't then!

We've napped this afternoon... Todd was out cold. It's starting to get dark and this day has gone on forever... I'm hoping that the surgery will start soon!

I did take a few pics of the halo which I will post later. I will update as soon as I know something.

Lots of Love!

KB

Morning News..

Hope the news whether it is morning, afternoon or night is all good news.

Just a quick update.... Todd woke up with full speech and no processing 'issues.' So, it must be from swelling and the steroids helped! We are too lazy to get out of bed (and the chair) to see if his writing has improved. I sure hate it for him and us that he will go back on steroids HOWEVER it they help then bring em on!

As always, I will update more when I know more.

Again, THANKS to everyone!!! The support and kind words to and for us have been crazy... We are very lucky to have such a tight knit group (even Hermie.)

Duke Duke Duke... oh Duke

So a bunch has changed since I posted last week... Over the weekend, Todd noticed that he was becoming unstable on his feet, more so than normal, and then on Sunday he noticed that he was having difficulties with his word processing with slurred speech. Todd was worried that if he waited 2 more weeks for a biopsy that things would get worse so I called Duke on Monday and told them what was going on...

The called back at 4:30pm (Monday) and told us they could get us in today (Tuesday). I scrambled to make plans and off we went. Of course in my lingo this is definitely the shortened version, LOL...

We left this morning at 7am, got here around 12ish and we immediately went to go meet Dr. Friedman. From there we went to pre-op stuff and that took F...o...r...e...v...e...r... He was admitted to the hospital at about 5pm and thats where we are now. I am going to stay in the room with him tonight-hope I sleep in this oh so comfy chair. Todd said this is payback from when i made him sleep in one when I had Ty.

As far as tomorrow goes... We were told the biopsy would be done at 4pm however after being admitted, Dr. F's nurse told us that the time was fluid and to plan on somewhere around 2ish. They will come in in the morning and place the halo on his head. She told us that this would be more pain then the actual procedure. They will use shoot him up in 4 spots to numb the area and then the halo will be placed. It goes through the first layer of skin and tissue until it reaches the bone to hold it in place. She told him it would be a great time to take a nap. (Naps, I love naps :) ) The procedure will be done by the Dr drilling a small hole, only one, into a guided area and a needle will be placed into the tissue. Procedure should take less than 1 hour and he will be awake for it. Dr. will know 85% accuracy of what type of tissue we are dealing with when he comes and gets me. The 100% results should come by Monday. After 6 hours and all is going well, we will be dismissed. Not sure what our plans are since I don't know what time it will be when he is released. Currently, they have him hooked to an IV to give large doses of steriods to minimize any swelling, if any...

Ty with friends, Dogs are being watched by neighbor.... All is well on the home front. We so appreciate all those who have called, texted, emailed and so forth... I will definitely take people up on stuff once we get home and settled.

Both of us are calm, cool and collected tonight... I might be a bit more jittery tomorrow however I know that Todd is more anxious to hear the results then the actual procedure. I will update tomorrow once I know more.

Night all...

The Clan

Duke Visit

Yesterday we had Todd's Duke visit and we learned more that what we planned. We knew we had some major topics of discussion to cover but we definitely got more that what we asked for. Dr. Desjardin sat with us and we went over all the positives since Todd's last visit-eyebrow movement, wiggling toes and a stable stem tumor. Then she dove right in... She said "so I guess you know about the 2 new tumors." Rewind... what??? 2??? We said no (as I can feel the tears whelping up) and she proceeded to pull the scan up on the monitor and show us that we are now dealing with TWO! I am not really sure how the Knox Dr's failed to see the second one because to me it was pretty noticeable.

So.. I think she said 2 and sure enough she did... She placed the September scan and the November scan side by side and in September there was NO evidence of new tumors. She used the words 'aggressive' and 'enhancing' in the same sentence so she meant business. Dr. D told us that with the tumors making this much of a change in 1 1/2 months that 'we' will have to act immediately.

So.. Immediately means that Todd will be having biopsy done on November 21st (2 1/2 weeks away.) He will need to be there on Sunday afternoon for 'prep' stuff, procedure on Monday and home on either Tuesday or Wednesday. She stated that they will have him up and trying to walk on Monday and he will more than likely be released. He will need to stay in the 'area' aka. hotel Monday night and depending on how he does and heals, we can come home either Tuesday or Wednesday.

I asked about the biopsy and the nurse said that it would be done by Allan Friedman who is the 'top dog' of Dukes Neurosurgery department. It will consist of them drilling a few small holes in the back of his skull and inserting a needle into the brain to retrieve the tissue cells. She said the actual procedure is done in less than an hour. From there, we should have actual results in what type of cancer we are dealing with within a day or so.

From there, he will undergo an intense chemotherapy and start radiation on the new spots. HOPEFULLY, the new radiation can be performed here. Duke is looking into who they would recommend here in Knoxville.

I failed to mention that one of the tumors is close to the brain stem (probably not removable) and the other is farther away. This one is possibly the best candidate for removal HOWEVER if they remove then treatment can't be done for 4-6 weeks. So.. the plan for now is to biopsy and treat!

There is a silver lining is all of this. Dr. Desjardins said that once we get a tissue sample, we will know exactly what we are dealing with... this includes the brain stem. She said it appears that they are all the same 'type' of tumor. With a proper diagnosis, we might be able to properly treat the brain stem area as well. Crazy to be a little bit excited but it does give us a little bit more hope!

Tyler... Tyler was anxious to hear the results. We met up with our friends who had Tyler for dinner. We told him we would talk when we got in the car. Not 30 seconds into being in the car did he ask about the scan. We paused... and explained that there were 2 more tumors, a biopsy would be done (asked if he knew what a biopsy consisted of, he did) and that Daddy would start radiation and chemo again. He asked 'adult' questions like: is this the same type of cancer as the brain stem, would daddy have to go back to Jacksonville for radiation or could it be done here and pill or IV type of chemo. Love him... I told him that I would need my crazy partner back for the next few months and that Daddy would need extra help at home-he agreed. We even put all of our hands in a 'team' pile... The 3 of us can accomplish this together! He is a trooper and I'm not sure what I would do without him!!!

I stopped by school and spoke with his Guidance Counselor this morning and she said she would stop by more frequently. She told me that for an 11 yr he is very mature for the cancer conversation. She then said for everything else, he is a crazy 11 year old, LOL....

We are so gracious of everyone who texted, called, stopped by!!! I have a list of people that I know I can call on a drop of a dime and I WILL take those of you up on dinners who offered over the next few weeks-even the frozen dinners (<---for my neighbor, Tiffany!)

I think that's it... I'm sure I'm leaving something off but I can always update later.

Thanks guys and please continue to keep us in your prayers!

The Clan...

The Scan results are in...

As many of you know, we have a scheduled trip to Duke on this Thursday. Before Todd goes to Duke, he has a scan done and we bring the copy with us so Dr. Desjardins can read it... Todd's scan was on Monday at 8 and by 10:30 I had received a phone call from the Knox Dr.-Dr. Avery. He asked if I had a moment to talk or if he should call Todd himself. My heart sank...

Dr. Avery informed me that the tumor was stable BUT they have discovered another tumor in his cerebellum. He said that this could possibly be a result from the radiation (have a hard time believing that since radiation was 3 years ago,) and that he wanted to let me know before we were told at Duke.

I hung up the phone, composed my self (the best I could) and called Todd...He took the news like a champ. I think he was really only being strong for me since I was in almost breakdown mode. I called my 2 trusty go-to people (mom didn't answer) and then I sat on the curb outside and cried. Todd called me back and said that this could possibly be a blessing in disguise because now maybe they can biopsy it or possibly remove it. We could possibly move mountains with a tissue sample which in turn could help with the other beast.

So I really don't understand but I don't think I am suppose to. My heart aches and I almost can't get weepy anymore. I finished out Monday at work because I knew that being at work was better than being at home and I had to get myself together so we could have a good night trick or treating...

I opted to take a 1/2 day yesterday and we just hung out together. Nothing exciting and we really didn't talk about life. We received and email from Dr. Desjardin stating she would look at the scan when we came on Thursday. She assured us that she would do whatever is best and that we were 'safe' with her. She also stated that sometimes radiologist techs see something that is really nothing... so there is hope.

Today I put my big girl britches on and dried my eyes. We are up for any challenge and will fight it head on...Tomorrow is a new day with lots of new information. We will take it and make a plan. We like 'plans' and will do whatever is necessary!

Many people this week have asked about Tyler... We have not said anything to him since we don't know any real news. I had a hard time not talking to him last night as we drove to the store. He truly is my rock that keeps this all in perspective. He was a trooper with me when this all began 5 years ago and I know he will be a troooper again! We are fortunate that he is not a child that worries. He is a go with the flow type of kid, kinda like me. :) I know whatever we tell him, he will digest it in his own way.

Anywho... we are leaving tonight to start our journey to Duke. Ty is staying with our family friends and they are also helping with the dogs. We will be back later tomorrow evening.

We will take any prayers, well wishes, encourgement or anything else you want to throw our way. :) I will update when I know more!!!

The Clan...

Oops, thought I would mention that Todd's mom will be starting another round of chemo next week as she found out last month that her tumor markers have increased. Also, a coworker of Todds (Mary White's) son in law was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer and is only expected to live 4-6 months. He is a 30 yr old ish man with a wife and child. It's been a crazy cancer talking week at my house so please add these people to your prayers.

October Update

Nothing too new and exciting for the month of October. We stayed so busy with Tyler this month that I feel the month as FLOWN by... I'm in complete amazement that this week is November. It seems that as soon as Halloween hits, we are looking at Thanksgiving and sure enough Christmas is smacking us in the face.

It's sad because I seem to dread the hoopla of all the planning but I love spending the time with the family and off work. I *think* I even asked if we had to put a Christmas tree up this year and that is not like me at all... I definitely don't go all out but I do like to have a tree up and few decorations. With Todd being home, maybe I can get him to help with the tree more. HINT HINT... This is the first real year that Santa has been exposed. I think this will make planning and shopping much easier because we can buy from us and not us and SANTA. Deep down though, it makes me sad that we have passed the excitement of the Santa days. Oh well.... life moves on.

I said this would be an October update so sorry to get off topic...

All of Todd's labs this month have been stable. He struggled in September and October with getting his Chemo refilled in a timely manner and thus resulting in tiredness and a icky stomach. Funny that being off the chemo gives him an icky belly... Can't win for losing..

Fortunately, he has some amazing nausea medicine and a supportive wife... LOL... to allow him to take it easy those days. I could care less if he sleeps on the couch all day (well, not every day.) I have to give him huge PRAISE because he is doing very well as a 'house' dad. He does what he can do in a day and when he gets tired, he rests.

He has stayed busy taxi-ing Ty around as usual. Ty played baseball anywhere from 2-3 days a week and had guitar lessons. Ty also went to a 'cowboy' camp through boy scouts... I have to give a shout out to this Non-profit organization that works with children with all different types of backgrounds.... Southern Star Shining Ranch. Ty went with a few of his boy scouts and he said it was one of the best times of his life. They slept in a barn over the horses, had a horse to tend to all weekend, sat around campfires, did small group bible study and he did calf wrestling. Yes.. calf wrestling. He came home filthy, tired and super excited about his weekend! Of course, here are some pics.

Lots of horseback riding...

Day one of calf wrestling (below)

Yes... that is my 70lb son trying to bring down a 200lb calf. On the pic above, he is under the calf.

Looks like a guy who has worked hard....

We also took a short trip to Myrtle Beach for fall Break... The weather was beautiful and we enjoyed a family trip with some down time. Todd hadn't been to the beach this year so that was on his 'list'. We didn't spend much time on the beach but he said just seeing it and listening to the waves made him happy. Tyler enjoyed time playing and being a kid...

Don't ask about the hat and sometimes you just have to pick and choose your battles... :)

We did baseball, baseball and more baseball for the month of October. Tyler had a wonderful time on a losing team... They won their very last game and pretty much got smoked on all the other games. I kept asking him if he had fun and he said yes so I guess it was still a success. In addition, I met several great families and reconnected with other families Ty played ball with in years past. In fact, Ty is going to play basketball this month and most of the baseball boys will be on the same team. :) This is Ty's first go at basketball so this should be interesting, LOL...

I love love love this picture... <3

Yes, the kid next to Tyler is in the same age range...

The Sox... missing the Coach. The is after the last game that they won by 1. A nice way to end the season. A great group of boys!!!

Lastly to wrap up the month, we celebrated Halloween. As many of you know, our neighborhood does a huge extravaganza and there are 100's of kiddos begging for candy. I love the neighborhood fellowship and Todd hands out candy. Him and another dad, propped themselves in lawn chairs and gawked at costumes (and I think made fun of people because you know, they come out of the hills on halloween.) If you remember, Ty was a BANANA last year so to continue on with the goofiness, this year he was Ollie the Ostrich. Many people thought he was riding a turkey but he was really riding an Ostrich.. haha...

Thanks again for everyone's well wishes and support... Live sure is crazy sometimes.

KB

Family and such

So... I was raised in a very traditional family for most of my life and so was Todd. I say most of my life because my parents divorced when I was 18. Todd's parents are still together and have been for 43 years (can you say WOW.) I say all this because it seems there are more and more nontraditional families these days. So on this topic, I am pretty sheltered from the real world and I think Ty is too. As my work peeps say.. I'm a pretty straightforward realist to life. I call it like I see it. Well... I have been hit with a stick on the nontraditional family topic.

Family is not what it used to be. Who says a family has to consist of a Mom and a Dad? Some families have moms, some have just dads, some have only aunts and uncles and some have grandparents. And you know... there are some families that are so blended that you really don't know who is who.

I think we all need to take a quick look around at who we call family and embrace them. It really doesn't matter how they came into our lives but just that they are in our lives. Everyone, especially children, need a safe place to call 'home.' Also, if you know someone who has taken on others, take a moment to thank them because without them... who knows where those little people would be!

I found this quote while looking for something else but I thought it was cute to share:

The family. We were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together. ~Erma Bombeck

The scan results are in....

drumroll please.....

All is stable-no additional flair to scan, no new growth. This came from both Duke and Knox Drs. Of course we were hoping for more/better news but this by all means is enough to be happy with. I say this because I am sure someone, somewhere received different news. So we are thankful for what we were/are given, we will continue along til the next scan-November.

With all that being said, Todd had a few days off Temodar since he was waiting on it to come in the mail and now since he has started back, he's been feeling icky. The good news is that we don't have a lot to do this weekend and we can take it easy!

Today is our FAVORITE Saturday in September... UT vs. Florida. I think for this area it's considered a holiday. GO VOLS!!!

I will check back within a few days/weeks!

Knoxville Scan Reading today

LOL.. Sounds like Todd is going to a Psychic today. His scan was on Tuesday and apparently he missed a Dr's appt yesterday, even though he went for bloodwork. Anywho, he goes today at 10 to the Knoxville dr. I really don't see them going into too much detail (because they never do) but we will see. I would love a nice surprise to this beautiful Friday morning!(Also shooting an email to Duke to see what they say since they look at the scan in detail)

Prayers, wishes or anything you can give us would be great today! I will post when I know something.

I think I start each post off by saying "I will start where I left off" LOL.. but really I dont know where I left off. As most of you know, I am all over the place on any given day so when I actually sit down and collect my thoughts, I find a giant pile of rubble.

Todd had a scan done today at St. Mary's and he will overnight it on to Duke in hopes of hearing 'something' by the end of the week (Duke looks at all the nuks and cranies.) The Knox Dr's will call soon and typically give us the same song and dance-all is stable. If you can still read until the end.. I will give an update on Todd.

Since school has started we have been going 100 miles a minutes. I was always worried that Todd would get bored during the day but he actually stays busy for most of the day (except from 11-1, when he watches old re-runs of Las Vegas.) Ty is in Boy Scouts, Baseball and takes guitar lessons so Todd juggles that in the afternoons as well as having dinner ready every night and cleaning/doing laundry. I can't tell you how much I LOVE having clean clothes each week!!! (We were never the best laundry doers and NO, we didn't wear dirty clothes, we just washed what was needed and most of it stayed clean on the laundry room floor.) We also now have a guest friendly home...well, for the most part. The hoarder in me can't find a place for all those 'extra' things. :)

Not sure how I got off on the tangent above but I will focus again... Nothing excites us more than the University of Tennessee football season starting. I absolutely love the football fall Saturdays where you can wear jeans, t's and flip flops, roll the windows down in the car, see UT car flags and sing Rocky Top. This to me is truely fall in East Tennessee! Over Labor Day weekend, UT had its first home game AND it was Labor Day weekend. We had a busy busy weekend planned. We opted not to go to the game and we had our dear friends, the Rupekas, over to watch the game. (Doesn't really sound too excititng huh?) On Sunday, we invited Greg, Ashley and Mason out to my moms to do an end of the year lake day. Come to find out... it was Ashley's first time ever on the lake. Here are some pics of the day. We had a blast scooting around on the lake and watching the boys tube. Mason was an old pro and you would have never of known he's never been on the water before.

Greg and my new sister in law-Ashley. How long can I call her new?

Me and the little 'Bloomfield boys'

Ashley and Mason.. you have to know that Ashley was scared to death and they did the 'granny' ride.

Greg and Mason

Pops 'teaching' Mason how to be a captain. :) I can't tell you how many pics of Pops an Tyler I have doing the same thing.. I love it!!!

Here are a few pics of my favorite people!!! Mom, Todd and Tyler....

Tyler and G-Mom

I loved the fact that we all got to spend the day together doing something that I love to do...

Now for the reality of the weekend... We came home and Todd crashed. We ran from Friday to Sunday and it was just too much for him. I had neighborhood fellowship on Sunday night and he couldn't come out and enjoy it because he felt nauseous, weak and tired. :( I was thankful that it poured down rain on Memorial Day because it gave us time as a family to unwind and relax. I need to realize that we are not the same family that we use to be but we can still have fun, just at a slower rate.

***So I'm not sure who knows of our baby steps and who doesn't but within the last few weeks Todd has had some improvement. He is definitely not moving mountains but he is making strides in the right direction. I know I mentioned his toes wiggling... a few weeks later he noticed that he had some movement from his eyebrow (hasn't had any movement in years) and just recently he has been able to use his hand to put deoderant on (previously been using the spray stuff, yuck.) We get pretty excited about the small things in life. I'm hoping that we get some super duper news after this scan HOWEVER I know NOT to get our hopes up!***

This month marks 9 months that Todd has been on Temodar. I would like to say 'time flies when your having fun' however this isn't the case. I wish for my family to be back to normal but I have accepted the fact that this is normal. I don't really see an end is sight as it has taken 9mos for these small changes to occur. I see a long Temodar future at the Bloomfield house!

A special shout out for extra prayers for Todd's mom.. As most of you know, she has had her own battle with cancer for it seems like gazillion years. Just recently she was told that her tumor markers have increased. They stopped her current chemo and they are reformulating a 'plan.' I know she is at her wits end because she has been through so many 'plans.' As we all know... we are not in control of our 'plan' and its hard when we aren't in control!

We are doing just fine and trucking along! We just started the process of Social Security and boy does it stink! I am learnig about saving and realizing the difference between wants and needs. Changes will be ahappening within the next few months and I just need to go with the flow. I know all will work out.. (yes, I keep telling myself that)

So thanks for everyone's prayers, well wishes, support, cards and so on... I will update as soon as I hear about the scan!!!

Pics from last post

Hey all...

Just a quick follow up to last months post and some pictures to add. I will do another post with updates on life. :)

Me and Ty in Cherokee, NC

Family picture at the lookout stop of Clingmans Dome... in the fall this is one of the most beautiful spots in the world!

Todd's bracelet says BELIEVE... He got this in a package from our Florida buddies-Steve, Christy and Heather. This was Heather's (10yo) gift to Todd.


Todd and Tyler in Cherokee, NC

It's official WE ARE PARENTS OF A MIDDLE SCHOOLER and this is why the picture looks do bad! (Kids this age, with a sassy attitude, dont like thier picture taken on the first day of school)

August 15, 2011, off to 6th Grade at Gresham Middle School

Yes, I fought with him to tame the crazy hair however I have to pick and choose my battles these days!

Right after school started, we received a call from a friend asking if Ty wanted to play baseball. At first he said NO... but a few minutes later he changed his mind (which was a shock because he's been asked for a few months now to play.) We joined a fun loving team-the Sox. I definitely don't think Ty is going to be a career baseball player. My ultimate goal for the season is to learn, have a good time and make friends. This team is very family oriented. Last Saturday we had a family picnic at the park. Afterwards, we played a parents vs kids game where YES, the parents whooped the kids!

This was one of those bitter sweet days... Todd was not able to join us in playing. I know he would have had fun playing but I took over and made the family proud. I even used Todd's glove from the good ol' days. The coach knows of Todds limitations and made him the official photographer, typically my role. :) Todd had 2 cameras and was snapping all sorts of shots. It was kinda funny and I was glad he was involved in the game. As the season is just starting, you will be sick of seeing baseball pictures!

Happy Fall Ball Ya'll!!!

All and all summer went by too fast and we are slowly approaching fall (my favorite season.) Tyler is involved in guitar, baseball and scouts along with trying to be a normal 11 year old.

Duke and Life update...

Hey all..

Not really sure where I left off last month so I will do my best to do a continuation from the last post, which I think was somewhere at the end of June. I've tried to take lots of pictures again so hang tight as I post pics.

July is scheduled to be a super busy for me and Ty....and as soon as July is over... School will be close to starting. I'm not sure where the summer has gone!

On June 29th, I took a 1/2 day from work to spend the day with the boys. We opted to go up to Ober Gatlinburg (which I don't think I have done in 15+ years). I remember as a kid riding the alpine slide with my dad and cousins and I knew Tyler had never be on the slide or be on the tram. I have GREAT memories of doing this with my family so off we went. I wasn't sure how Todd would do because of all the walking and uneven pavement/ground. We started out in Gatlinburg and rode the tram up to Ober Gatlinburg. From there we walked around and while Ty and I did some rides and the chairlift, Todd sat and waited for us. :( Here are a couple of pictures of us from the day.

Ty and I up on top of the mountain after we took the chairlift to the very tippy top of the mountain.

Yes.. Ty's hair is a bit long (haircut coming very soon-because he was called a GIRL 2x during the week)

The Alpine Slide

Next we roll into 4th of July weekend. On Saturday, July 2 we all went to my moms to see Rockin at the Docks Fireworks. This is the first time in over 10 years Todd was able to join us. Typically in previous years Todd was working. I was excited that we all could share the night together. Here are a few pics of that night.

Me, Mom and Tyler... Ty with a new haircut of over 3 inches off the bangs

I love this picture of the 3 of us

Ty and Pops with his crazy hair.

We opted for the 4th of July to have a fairly quite day. We started out with the neighborhood parade, which I swear every year is Tyler's last year. I only do it for the mingling with the neighbors and I love 4th of July. The evening part started out as a quite "few person" day and by the end of the night we among many neighbors and friends. Again, here are a few pics of our night.

Our best buddy family friends-Tim and Renee

Another picture of the 3 of us... I love this one!

The family boys- Mason, Tyler and Cameron

Tyler and Mason (for those of you who did not pick it up from another post, Mason is my new nephew and Ty's cousin)

Our neighbor buddies-Dylan and Avery

And so our busy July continues... (Will tell you about our Duke, July 7, visit afterwards) Tyler and I went to Myrtle Beach July 10-14 to stay with our Friends, Amy and her Mom. This is a trip that we try to do every year. Lots of fun with friends and their kiddos. Last set of pics, I promise!

My dear, dear friends who will hate me since I posted a pic of them in a bathing suit... These 2 women are one of a few rocks in my life. April (in blue) is my new buddy and Amy has been bff for almost 20 years!

Ty and Amy's girls- oh someday...

Lastly, I know I know, what you have been waiting on-An UPDATE on Todd. On July 7, we took a trip over to Duke. This week had been a bit stressful because we had so much going on at home AND I knew Todd was a bit 'off.' Without going into to much detail, I will hit the highlights. We met with Nurse Practitioner and she asked lots of 'mental health' questions. I think this is where things got wishy washy... The honeymoon period of chemo and life is over and now we are faced with REALITY. Todd has realized that he is 'handicapped' and life has come to a screeching halt. We knew this was coming and it was only a matter of time. The NP suggested that Todd (and me) find a local support group, find a Occupational Therapist that deals with brain injurys/tramuna and she put him on an anti-depressant. HOLD PLEASE... there definitely is a brighter side to this story. Dr. Desjardins talked to us about all of the above but then she put in the latest scan and proceeded to show us what she saw. According to her, it appears the tumor is SLOWLY breaking down from the top. She said it was super faint but as she compared the last 2 scans, we could see the difference. So with all the ugliness of life's issues, there was a shining star. We asked her if she would consider going more aggressive and she wanted to wait since we saw a bit of 'something' for the positive. The PLAN: stick with Temodar for another 4 months and see her back in November with a scan in September and November.

Since I have just gotten back, I will spend this week finding a support group and an Occupational Therapist for Todd. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!!! I also leave next Monday for a trip to Denver with work (whew, July is busy!)

Also, We dropped Tyler off at camp today. He will be gone all week to Wesley Woods. It was bittersweet pulling out of the camp. Pray that I can make it though all week with him being gone. I KNOW he will have such a blast and he is a big guy!!! Will update next post!

Thanks for reading the entire post... I know it was longgggggg.... Thanks all!