Where to start?

Yesterday I think was one of the lowest days I have felt in a very long time...

I received a phone call from Tiffany at Dr. Avery's office. She's the nurse practitioner who we really like and trust. She told me that her and Dr. D (Duke) had just spoken about the plan for Todd... She informed me that there was another very small lesion in his midbrain. He is going to do this new chemo for the next 4 weeks then have a scan, in addition we have a Duke visit scheduled for March 19th. She went on to 'advise' me that she thought we were close to needing to have the 'prepare and plan' talk since he was still cognitive. From that point forward, I'm not really sure what else she said...

I was actually at work when I spoke to her so I shut the door and had a full breakdown... one of those ones where its too hard to catch your breath. I called my neighbor friends to see if they could get Ty out of the house while I went home to have the 'talk.'

I had my whole world crashing down on me between 415-430. Right after that, Dr. D called me from Duke to say YES, there is a new very small tumor on the midbrain however we have a few more options to try and as long as Todd is willing to fight and his quality of life is still OK, then we will still fight. She said that we all should be in 'prepare and plan' mode because we just never know.

I got home to talk to Todd and he was kinda ticked that I brought up what his 'plans' were.. He said we were told in 07 that he wouldn't make it past the year and he's still here. He said he's not quitting and he will fight as long as he can. So... this is where we are today.

My heart is aching all over again because we did go through this many years ago... I don't wish this on anyone! Right now we live day to day and the fear of uncertainty.

We will move forward the next 4 weeks on this new treatment and I hope and pray every day that we see some type of improvement if not we go to plan c or plan d. Nothing like playing the waiting game.

Thanks for the continued prayers!

The Clan...