Waving the White Flags

I have given up for the day...The flags are being waved and I surrender, I surrender.

I might have woken up on the wrong side of the bed or it might be the fact that I felt consumed with diarrhea and blood sugar issues... Nothing I can blame Todd on though. He's a great sport who tackles all this head on. I am so proud of him!!!

Morning started off with of course, diarrhea by Todd and again more diarrhea. This started early in the am... We had an appt with the NP about adjusting his insulin. The NP added ANOTHER injection of insulin, one that lasts for 12 hours. Before I was out of the parking lot, I had already spoken to the Oncologist nurse regarding... guess what, diarrhea!

After several phone calls, she called back to give me the new plan. I was already on the verge of craziness today but then she started the conversation with... "I don't mean to scare you but." She went on to say that with Chemo patients they get very concerned with dehydration because in rare cases, patients have died. In addition, they think that he might possibly have a bowel infection since all the natural things he is doing aren't working. They would like for us (him) to collect a 'sample' and then they will know for sure...ewww.

She called in a prescription of an antibiotic for the just in case (one I've never heard of), they also are putting him on a 3x a day, round the clock injection, then some kind of Metamucil drink in prescription form. The antibiotic and injection are rotated, even through the night but the injection can't be near other doses of meds and 2 hours within steroids. I actually had a chart made to know when all medicines are dispensed.

Bottom line... He is now on 3 different injections. 1 given 2x per day, 2 given 3x's per day but not the same time.

Tomorrow is blood work day and in addition she said they would give him fluid and check him out. Friday is Chemo day. If I learn anything new, I will post again tomorrow.

Thanks for the quick vent... I decided I was DONE for the day but tomorrow is a new day with a new fight.

I had so many texts through out the day... I appreciate everyone!!! Just keep praying for us, thats all we need! Eventually things have to turn around!!

No more diarrhea please....

So... Todd is still battling diarrhea however it has seemed to settle down just a bit. I spoke the Oncologist nurse yesterday (I know they hate to hear from me) and they put him on a 'plan'... 'Plans???, I like Plans.' She explained to me that the lining of 'something' has thinned and therefore he can't keep anything in him. Since he has had SOOOO much diarrhea, he has lost all the good and the bad bacteria in his bowels. I was to find a probiotics that contained the most lactobacillus, get Activia and pick up Pedialyte. Also he needed to go on a very bland diet. So the yogurt idea was scary for me since he won't eat anything 'white and creamy' and the bland diet was scary since most bland diets contain carbs which turn into sugars. Sheesh.... Activia was actually a hit, he said he thought it tasted really good and well, we managed with an OK diet so far.

He has 2 more diarrhea pills left so if you neighbors see an SOS in our yard tonight it's because we've run out... :)

Blood sugar... we still have this issue going on. I actually texted the Nurse Practitioner his levels every 2 days. She made adjustments and then we watched it again... The levels are still a bit high (definitely not as high as the previous week but still high) and now we are going back to see her tomorrow to see 'whats next.'

Here goes my soapbox... I heard 2 different instances of "it's not fair" today and I really wanted to come back with Really... you want to talk about FAIR???

It's not FAIR for my 11 year old to have a full comprehension of Cancer.

It's not FAIR for my 11 year old to watch his father go from being active to practically housebound.

It's not FAIR for our friends 10 year old son to bury his step-father right before the holidays due to pancreatic cancer.

It's not FAIR for our friends 10 year old son to watch his mothers pain in the loss of her husband. (Bridget Gibson)

It's not FAIR for our friends 3 year old daughter to hear that daddy can't play because his head hurts so bad because he has stage 4 brain cancer.

It's not FAIR for our friends 3 year old daughter has a daily visual of her daddy's scar from his surgery that takes up most of his head. (Sheri Slusser)

OK... This is whats not FAIR. The kids have no choice in the matter but have learned to adapt and go with the flow. With strong parents they will be strong kids who can overcome any adversity in life! So make sure to pray extra for our sweet little babies!!!

Off my soapbox... A quick shout out to a friend who brought a card and gift down last night. We appreciate everything!!! I am told daily how much support we have and we truly are a very lucky family!!!

Pretty Miserable past few days :(

The title sums it all up... Todd has had a pretty miserable past few days. I feel so helpless to him. There is nothing I can do. :(

Thursday we met with his Primary Care Physician, Nurse Practitioner about diabetes training. Yes, something else to worry about! She put him on a sliding scale of insulin. For those of you who don't know what that means, I will tell ya. He is to prick his finger before every meal and depending on what his blood sugar is will depend on how much insulin he gives himself. He has a nifty pen type thing that has insulin in it and he has a scale that tells him how many units to inject depending on his blood sugar number. It's really interesting... We will follow up with the NP on Monday to make sure the levels are doing better and then from there we will go back in 2 weeks. Levels so far have been better. They are more in the 200's vs 400's... baby steps, baby steps! She said it could take approx. 1 week for him to feel better as the levels come back to 'normal.'

Friday, Saturday and Sunday have been HORRIFIC bouts of diarrhea. Again, not just your run of the mill, my belly aches diarrhea, but the most horrific belly girgling, rumbling, sit on the toilet for a nice long time! It started on Friday night and went on for a good portion of the night=no sleep for anyone. He had a few episodes early Saturday morning but was good most of the afternoon. As soon as 4pm hit, he was back at it again and again and again.. This went on until appox. 3am. He said he didn't fall asleep until close to 4am! He woke up good on Sunday am and I thought he was out of the woods HOWEVER tonight at about 5:30, it reared its ugly head again! Let's see how long this lasts tonight... Yes, he has prescription diarrhea medicine and it's not helping!

I will call in the morning to see if anything can be done for him. We've been trying so hard to keep him hydrated but with all the diarrhea, it's getting tough! He says he feels really bad. I think he ventured out of bed long enough to eat dinner. He's been off and on sleeping all day. Needless to say, it's been a low keyed weekend.

Monday will start a new week and a new round of Dr visits. Thursday is blood work and Friday is infusions.

I will post more when I know more... Ty finally goes back to school tomorrow so it will be awfully quiet in the Bloomfield house!

Thanks all!!!

The Clan

Just a post...

Thought I would swing in to just say hello and not give any Ho-hum news...

The week has been relativity quiet compared to last week. Like normal the MASSIVE diarrhea reared its ugly head yesterday (Tuesday.) No surprise, Todd was prepared for it and dealt with it like a champ. He said he didn't feel great yesterday however WHO WOULD when you have to run to the toilet every few hours, LOL!!!

Ya know... Todd has dealt with all of this like a champ. I know I don't tell him but he is a CHAMP to us! He has been dealt a crappy hand and he continues to truck along. He never complains about feeling so crappy, he just goes on his way! The girls at the center always love on him and I saw first hand why. He's so nice and cooperative with them.. sometimes being stabbed 10 times because they can't find a vein. He just says 'I'm good, doesn't hurt, do what you have to do." Where the little old grouchy lady next to him is acting like a pain in the rump! Anywho.. my shout out to my dear ole hubby who Tyler and I love. We will take him gimpy and buddha (he calls himself this because of his bloated belly and shaved head) all day long!

I had to chuckle a bit tonight because Todd really wanted hamburgers this week. He can't do the buns (carbs=sugars) so we opted for lettuce wraps-ish... I made mine all pretty and we had the following conversation:

Kim: Look how good this looks

Todd: I can't see it.

(Ponder for a sec)

Kim: What??

Todd: Haven't really been able to see while I was cooking

Kim: All in my head... seriously, you've cooked and you can't see. :)

All and all we had dinner which tasted really good and he didn't give up because of his limitations, just glad he wasn't trying to drive! :)

Tomorrow we go meet with the Diabetic specialist to 'learn' about high blood sugar. Should be interesting. 'They' are going to decide if the pill will do the trick or if he needs to go on a sliding scale of insulin. I have no knowledge of diabetes/insulin so this appointment should be very informative.

I've had many neighbors chime about wanting to be put on our Emergency On Call list. I think over the weekend I will post all the numbers on the fridge for the 'just in case' we happen to have an emergency. I know Todd is a hermit and feels comfortable with only a few but you never know when those few aren't around. Thanks to everyone who has offered!!!

Thats it... half way short and sweet!!! I will give a brief update after our appointment tomorrow.

Love and Hugs,

The Clan!

Deductible will be made in January...

Our insurance deductible will be made by January... we had a visit to the ER today. Todd's blood sugar levels were pretty high all weekend, upper 300's. They told us not to call over the weekend unless they were over 400. I held out until today. I spoke to the on-call dr who advised us to go straight to the ER.

I rushed Tyler to a friends and we were off to the ER. Once there they started him on a saline bag and took blood samples to measure his levels. While there, his BS level was 420. Yikes...

The main concerns were the blood sugar levels and dehydration. Even though he has been hydrating very well, the pancreas works hard to remove all fluids from the blood when the levels get so high. (I think thats right anyways) And top off the diarrhea, he gets dehydrated very easy.

Todd said he knew his levels were high because instead of the double vision, his vision was a complete blur... Scary, I know. Within 2 hours, his vision was doing better and his bs levels had dropped to 280-still high for the normal person. They watched him for a bit and then sent us home with an insulin pill prescription. We spent the afternoon there and all is better, for the time being. He is to follow up with Dr. Avery tomorrow.

I appreciated everyone who texted and offered to help. Since I've used many of my neighbors, I used a friend of Ty's. He was excited to play with a new group of friends for the day!

I'm sure my crazy week ain't over... (thought ain't was appropriate, lol) I go back to work tomorrow and I will put a neighbor on call in case of an emergency. Wish us luck! Todd told me today that while I dread going back to work, it will probably be easier than staying at home. :)

Thanks all..

The Clan

2 Weeks of complete craziness... We've struggled and had lots of fun!

I haven't posted in over 2 weeks so you better sit tight for a lot of mumble jumble... I will go over the highlights of my 2 weeks at home and then at the end I will give you the Readers Digest version of the happenings of Todd.

The first week was A LOT of running around to get ready for Christmas... I am not really sure what I did though. As always Todd moves slow so sometimes he joined me for the car ride and sometimes he stayed at home.

We went to Todd's moms house for Christmas Eve.. Below are a few pictures of night. Notice, I didn't win the sweat pant battle. :) Sometimes you have to pick and choose your battles though.

Todd, Greg, Bonnie and Ted (Savannah the dog)

All of us... Lets see. Me, Todd and Tyler (11), Bonnie and Ted, Greg, Ashley (in the back) and Cameron (15) and Mason (8) in the front.

We had a nice night visiting and celebrating Christmas Eve with the Bloomfields. Bonnie (Todd's mom had a rough week leading up to Christmas-her counts were really low and after Christmas we learned she had Bronchitis. She probably over did it too much by having Christmas at her house however I know she enjoyed having everyone together.

We were suppose to go visit with my dad over the holidays however Todd definitely couldn't of made the trip. He gets car sick if we go over 30 minutes due to his vision. In addition, he's had horrible bouts of diarrhea (will talk more of Todd at the end.)

What we were doing on Christmas was all up in the air since I knew we couldn't push Todd too much. My mom had made a Christmas meal and we were either going to go to her house for a bit or I was going to meet her to swap out Christmas and food. Todd woke up Christmas morning and said his vision was a 'bit' better and he had a 'bit' more energy and he would like to try and go to my moms for Christmas day. We went and were there for no more than 2 hours but it was nice to visit, eat and of course... open presents. Below are some pics from the day.

My mom and Ty... I love this pic!

The 3 of us

Well, the Christmas weekend came to a SCREECHING halt as Monday hit and Todd woke up with pain so bad in his joints (knees) that he could barely walk. I called the On-call dr who advised me to give him ADVIL... I was like seriously, he can't walk and he's almost in tears! Advil it is... The pain came and went, mostly came and Todd spent most of the day on the couch. Tuesday... I was ready to conquer the world and get everything back in order from the holiday and preparing food for when I went back to work. By lunchtime on Tuesday, he still was in bad pain that I called Dr. Avery who advised us to come to the office ASAP. We spent the next 4 1/2 hours at the office. They poked and prodded him and were very puzzled as to why he was having this bad of pain. They gave him a bag of morphine and fluids and sent us home. Like clockwork, Tuesday evening was a delightful bout of massive diarrhea...MASSIVE and not for the faint of heart! Wednesday, bright and early he had a scan and he took the rest of the day in bed because he was so tired from being up all night with the above! Thursday, a regular visit with Dr. Avery to hear about the scan. We opted for the scan to be done a bit early so we could get it in before the end of the year. Typically they don't do them that soon but we were lucky. We only received the results from the Knox Dr's who don't go into full details however they told us that there is way less enhancing of the new tumors (which means there is not as much new, fast growing cells) and it appears the chemo is 'working'. They are going to continue on the same path and we will do another scan in 8 weeks. Good news and baby steps for sure... After the visit, I received a call that Todd's levels were 'off'... something that showed dehydration (gee, wonder why, he's had diarrhea for days) and blood sugar levels were SKY high and we need to do something about it... They asked Todd to go back in but we convinced them to hold out until the morning when he was scheduled for his infusions. Friday, Happy Birthday to Me and Todd was dropped off at the infusion center. They gave him a bag of insulin, extra saline (he said he felt like he was floating away) and then the CPT-11 and Avastin. Because of the bloating and diarrhea, they scaled back a bit on the CPT-11 in hopes it won't tear up his digestive track. Only time will tell, typically Tuesday is the magic day. We will see....

Ok so you see that this week we were either at the hospital or the dr's office every day but Monday. I spoke to the nurse on Friday afternoon and she said that if Todd's sugar levels were above 400 at any time during the weekend, we needed to go to the hospital. Normal person is about 100, for him they would like to see under 200 bc of steroids. Him and I have fought hard to maintain healthy levels all weekend so we wouldn't have to make another trip to hospital.. as we speak, they are anywhere from 250-325 so I will have to call tomorrow, Monday, to see what the next plan of action is.

Whew are you tired yet... Saturday was NYE and Ty had a basketball game. Todd said he felt well enough to go and he even requested to go to our favorite wing place which is definitely out of our way!!! In addition, the new tradition is to go to Amy's (long time friend) then go bowling... home before 10. Todd agreed to meet at the bowling alley but didn't feel like 'hanging' out at Amy's. I told him he didn't have to go but he wanted to... we were there for 2 hours and he was a sport watching us bowl and have a good time. Afterwards, we snuggled in bed to watch the ball drop.

Love this kid...

Holidays are the only time I can get a picture of the 3 of us... Todd says he looks like Buddha however Buddha or not, he's ours!

I call these 2 my Rocks or maybe I should say Bookends, lol... Amy and April. April is off the wall and busy like me (Sorry April) and Amy has been around for 20 years this summer. She is my rational, level headed advisor... LOL. Not sure everyone who knows that would say that about her, right??? Sandy???

For fun one day, I will have to post pics of all the people who we really rely on during our crazy times!

This year has been so hard to deal with... I've learned a lot about myself and others. Some people wrap their arms around illness and some have other ways to deal. I see myself in this as well... I am not a good 'dealer' with other peoples 'heavy' stuff but you can betcha that I am very aware of this and will work so much harder on being a better friend and family member to those 'struggling' with 'something.'

So with that said... Bring on 2012... Let's see what it has to offer the Bloomfield family. One thing is for sure, I will not lose the fight for my family and I will not let CANCER bring us down, I will appreciate those around me better AND I will not allow myself to become consumed with people who bring me down.

Continued prayers for MIL, Bonnie as she fights her cancer battle and my new friend Sheri as her and her family struggle with hubby's brain tumor.

Pray we don't spend another week visiting dr's this week and pray that he will do well all alone at home when I go back to work on Tuesday.

It you made it to the end... Thanks as always. I appreciate all the prayers and well wishes that have come through over the last few weeks. We've seen incredible generosity and we are humbled by it!

Thanks again.. Hugs...

The Clan

Merry Christmas from VF

Yesterday Todd received a package from UPS... In it was a DVD and a card signed by many of the employees in Reading. I wasn't too sure I could watch because I was afraid it would make me cry but it was nice... The last clip is of the Crossville store. This is Todd's buddy, Jay and his team. Instead of crying.. it brought a huge giggle to us!

We thank everyone who participated in this video to make Todd feel special.

It's hard to be super excited about the Holidays however so many people have come forth to help bring us the 'holiday cheer.' Again, I thank each and everyone of you!!!

Today starts a busy start to the Holiday weekend.. we have a few last minute items to get. Todd wants to run those errands with me so he will sit in the car while Ty and I run in. We will also meet our friend at our favorite wing joint... Craven Wings.

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and we will go to the Bloomfield's for dinner, presents and games. Then on Christmas Day we will meet my mom and step dad at church then go back to their house for lunch and presents. I am sure by Sunday afternoon he will be beat!

I am going to try and sneak a photo of the 3 of us this weekend. Todd's been stingy on the photo taking since he says he's bloated from steroids. I think he's great so I will force the photo issue and I will force the NO Sweat pant rule for the weekend. :)

Merry Christmas to everyone and again... thanks for all the support during this crazy time!

Enjoy the day...

So as many of you know... or don't know... I read many many different brain tumor blogs, forums at night before I go to bed. When I found the above saying, I knew it went with our family motto. We really do have so much to be THANKFUL for every day, but more so we need to be thankful to see the next day ... we really do. Yes, my family has been dealt a crappy hand but we are surviving and we will continue to do so. I won't say that I get down in the dumps about our 'situation' because I do however it does me or my family no good to be crabby about it so for now... we will continue to stay positive.

Last week on my forum reading, I e-met another woman in a similar situation as ours... Her hubby is being seen by Dr. D at Duke and he is getting ready to start the same chemo concoction as Todd. They are young like us and have a small daughter, 2yrs old. She has what appears to be a wonderful support system at home! I'm adding her site to mine just so we can get more prayers going her way. They are a bit of newbies compared to us so I can completely empathize with everything she is going through. Her hubby's name is Josh and here is her site.

Like clockwork, the diarrhea has hit since his last chemo treatment on Friday. Once it hits, he is down for the count for a few days. His speech is still pretty crappy, vision is ehhh (just depends on how tired he is), balance is better, hand/arm strength is almost fully pre-tumor back, mouth sores are gone and hair loss comes and goes.

I'm home until January 3 so hopefully we won't kill each other between now and then. I've tried to make Christmas as fun as possible for Ty and now we are creeping on just a few more days. I can honestly say though, I am ready to get past the holidays and focus on the 'whats next' stage.

I know I say in almost every post how THANKFUL I've been to our supporters. This week we've seen some amazing support (spoken and unspoken), we've been touched by some amazing people and we have another crazy family that easily accepts us for what we bring to the table and hangs out with us. I can't say Thank You enough to everyone... I can't even keep up with Thank you cards, LOL..

This weekend is Christmas and I'm sure it's going to be way too much for Todd but we will roll with the punches and do whatever is necessary to make Todd comfortable. He will have a scan on the 28th, blood work on 29th and chemo on 30th. Anyone know what the 30th is???

I will post when I think of something else to say... :)

The Clan...

We had a SECRET Santa....

Without going into my long drawn out details like I always do, I'm going to hit the highlights.

Yesterday The Bloomfield's were given SECRET Santa gifts.. I still have no clue but I know who 'helped' them get the list. I say 'them' but in reality, I have no clue who it is!

I prefer to not go into details of what was given but to shout out to who put this together. Yes, I've been bah-hum-bug. Yes, I've been Christmas crabby... I fully understand all of that! :) Last night though made me realize that someone special has been putting this together for us because they had the Christmas spirit.

Part of me felt bad and sad... Sad and bad because I knew that there were people way less fortunate than us but so thankful that someone took the time to have MY family on their minds and hearts.

I cried.. I cried most of the way home... I cried once I got home and I cried for a good portion of the evening. Everything that was purchased for us was on the MASTER Christmas list... A few of the items were Kim/Todd items that were taken off because we knew we more important things to spend our money on this month!

My mom and old faithful, Amy told me to take it, be gracious and accept it... It was given to us because it was important for someone to do! I had a hard time accepting it because if you don't know us well, I've never asked for a dime throughout our medical challenges and I don't intend to!

I said I wasn't going to ramble on and I have done so... I really don't know what else to say except THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU. I know I have wonderful friends and supporters and we appreciate you. We will know when the time is right to PASS IT ON and it will be in honor of our SECRET SANTA.

This week...

I will keep this short.

Life has started to settle down.. nothing has changed with any of Todd's side effects as previously posted and now the poor guy has hair loss. :( Boo, hiss, Boo, his...

He took it like a champ and on Saturday, we shaved his head. He always had short hair so it wasn't a complete shock. Still hurt my feelings to know why we were shaving it!

Todd ventured out on a small bit of driving last week. He managed to take Ty to guitar. This was a big step as he hasn't driven in almost 1 month! This week he helped me when my car battery died. It was nice to have 2 people driving again! I say that but he doesn't need to be driving for the fun of it, just for necessities.

Treatment again on Friday and from there we start the Christmas week! Friday is my last day at work and I can't wait for all of us to be at home together..

Until we meet again..

The Clan