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The journey of my family's struggle with a Brain Tumor. Cancer Sucks but the days continue so we must continue on as well... with a fight!

Thursday, March 15, 2012

CCNU has finally been given

Even though we are grasping on straws at this point, I still hold hope that a miracle can occur... with that being said, I gave him his CCNU pills last night. With CCNU, you give a 'set' of pills on day 1 and they last 6 weeks... scary, I know. Nausea is the #1 issue with it so I armed us with our arsenal of nausea meds and off we went.

Since nausea was my main concern for the night, I didn't sleep well. Well, not sure I sleep well at all any more. He's like having a toddler in the house-when he moves, I wake to make sure all is ok... I was actually a bit paranoid that he would start throwing up and that I wouldn't know what to do. Since he's not mobile, I was afraid of 'what to do with' him.. In addition, I was scared of aspiration. I had the idea of calling an ambulance and honestly that thought scares me to death! Luckily, we made it through night #1... many more to go.

Last week we had a neighbor die.. His son is 15 and again, my heart aches for him and his family. This was pretty sudden although I think they 'knew' something was going on. Either way, a family has been left to put the puzzle back together. In light of this... I thought it would be a good opportunity to see where Ty's thoughts were. I hope and pray that you never have to have this type of conversation with your child!!! I cried, I tried to get Ty to show some emotion but he said he was OK (normal answer for Ty.) No need to go into what type of questions I asked him just know it was an ADULT conversation but it was one that I needed answers to for Ty's sake. He helped me in putting those pieces in the puzzle for him... (Make sense, LOL)

At this point, I am not sure I am telling you all anything new... I think we are surrounded by death in the community. Every corner I turn, I am hearing about someone who died or was killed... Please add the Kerley family in your prayers. Adam was my very best 'guy' friend in high school (yes, many years ago) and his brother, Tom was killed at work this week. He left behind a wife and children. Also, I've become friends with an old Bloomfield friend, Lynsey Parker Newton, her husband has been given less than 2 months to live and this week they have done his funeral planning along with hospice coming in... They have a 5 year old daughter. My heart aches for all but I realize that people's hearts are breaking for us. :( Guess it's easier to see the problems of others!!! On a side note, my brain tumor buddy, Sheri.. they have had a few good weeks. Josh is feeling good and seems to be tolerating his treatments well. :)

I think I am officially going to set up one of those food sign up web pages. 'Someone,' not sure who, recommended one in particular that looked great... now I just need to find it! Typically someone is delivering food M-Th and we are greeting you with open arms. My family is VERY picky though and if its on a site then our likes and dislikes will be noted!

As always... Thanks to everyone who has sent us gifts and cards!!! I also can't forget our wonderful friends and family who have helped the 3 of us over the past few weeks. Someone is making sure all of us are being tended to... Also, can't forget about our Greyhound friends who made sure the dogs were catered to :) and Tiffany, NP, who is on call with me 24 hrs a day... How many of you all have your NP's number to text whenever? Sometimes she's the best ear... Lastly, Ty's counselor at school has been a great behind the scenes person. She's making sure Ty is doing well at school and coping. Thanks Ms. Gresham!

I am finally going to post a picture of the 3 of us from the weekend at the Wilderness Lodge. As you can see, this is truly not the Todd that we know... It has taken me almost 2 weeks to look at the picture. The sad part of me kept thinking that this could be the last picture of the 3 of us.. Ok, I know Debbie Downer... so I won't go on... (If you go back a few posts, you can see a slideshow of pictures when life was 'normal.')



Someone told me this week "God doesnt promise there wont be storms,..but he promises there will be a rainbow on the other side!' So... I keep telling myself to be on the lookout for the rainbow... I'm looking!!!!

All and all, we are trucking along daily and we take each day one at a time. Thanks for all the kind words, prayers, support, calls and whatever else you all are doing!

Then Clan...

5 comments:

Carla said...

Thanks for keeping us updated and allowing us to know specifically what to pray for you guys. Sound like you have two amazing guys!

Anonymous said...

I'm a friend of Carla's and I've been praying for you and your family. I can't imagine what your going through everyday. Have you all tried the gama knife? My mom works at a local cancer center and was wondering if you had looked into it. Will continue to pray for you all!

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry for everything your family is going through! When my father was sick with ALS, I experienced what it is like to have someone you know and love be completely replaced by someone who is overtaken with illness. I know God is giving you all an enormous amount of strength. I am adding my prayers and thoughts as well. Thank God we know that all of this suffering is only temporary and, someday soon, all of our sorrow will be replaced with joy. Special love and hugs to your boy.

Len and Lois Renko said...

Dear friends, it was such a priviledge to be with you last week. As always, we are available for you, in ANY way, shape, or form,ANYTIME! Please, please, call us anytime you need anything, day or night. You are always deep in our hearts and prayers. You may never know how much you mean to us and how much we love you. Len and Lois

Anonymous said...

My wife and I are praying for you guys. Todd, Ray, and I were golfing buddys several years back when we all met at Service Merchandise and played in some of those basketball leagues together. If you need anything please let us know. Billy and Angela Bridges.