So after 2 miserable days... they are admitting Todd tomorrow. What appeared for us to be heading on the right track quickly has taken a turn for the worse.
Yesterday he fell 2 times.. once while I was home and once while I was at work and today he has fallen. In addition he's having overall trouble. He can barely eat/swallow because of his mouth sores and they are worried about his nutrition levels. I've done my best to make healthy meals that he can eat but he is so limited. I went home today for lunch just to check on him and make him lunch. He's so pitiful. I worry about him at home, I worry about him falling and cracking his head open, I worry that he could have a seizure (not that he has but you never know)... you see the pattern, I am so wound tight right now.
After lunch, I called the nurses and we talked about the mouth sores. She asked me many more questions tho like... How cognitively alert is he, Is he hydrated, Is he getting enough nutrition, Is he too much for ME to handle right now (this one broke my heart), Is he in good spirits, etc... She said she would talk to Tiffany, the NP who I love... Tiffany called me back and told me that she wasn't sure and didn't want to scare me but I needed to "prepare for the worst" that the tumor has grown... So first thing in the morning he will have an MRI done and depending on how it comes back will depend on what they do. Needless to say, they aren't letting him go home until things look better.
Lots and lots of prayers needed... I have been so positive and strong but I'm close to a breakdown (not literally :) )
Until tomorrow....
The Clan
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
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2 comments:
Oh how my heart hurts for you. I wish I was there so I could do more than faithfully pray for you all. I am a doer, and I don't like this situation of sitting....however, it gives me time to continue to pray. It is okay to break down, I learned that a long time ago, we just can't stay there long before we have to jump back out of the pit.
Prayers and Hugs!!
Jenna
Kim, my heart breaks with the weight that you have carried for such a long long time. You must know that you do not have to carry it alone. Friends are there, people whom you do not even know pray for you. You have put up a great fight, but when it's time....you must let others take the cargivers place. You will know when and you will realize that this battle has become too hard. It is not giving up, it is helping by going on. With YOU, with your CHILD. You have been amazing with this battle. Don't lose connection with yourself due to it. You have been a very loving and strong wife. Remember to be a loving and strong woman to yourself. You are amazing!
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