Wow... a few days behind

So I didn't realize that I was over a week behind on updating... Sorry. Prepare for a long winded post. :)

Todd is still in the same ole same ole situation... sucky! This week was week 4 of his CCNU treatment and there has been no major decline but at the same time, there has been no improvements.

Today we celebrate his 40th Birthday... I had big plans in my head a few months ago. We were originally going to take an Adults only cruise then I had an opportunity to go to Las Vegas and was going to incorporate the big day into the trip... All that was brought to a halt. :( So instead we had a family day on Sunday and I am having our neighbors over tonight for cake. Nothing thrilling and grand however it will be spend with those we love!

Sunday for Easter, Ty and I managed to sneak out of the house for church... We went to the church where we began going until Todd's health declined. We never made a commitment or decided that this church was the one. The Pastor did the traditional Easter message and at the end said the word HOPE... Saying to never give up Hope. I felt like she was talking to me. I left there with a heavy and happy heart. Ty knew I was sad and at one point reached over and held my hand..we squeezed each others, smiled and carried on. When the service was over, the Pastor was greeting everyone at the door and she stopped and hugged me. Not sure what she knows or doesn't know but I really appreciated the gesture.

In addition to church, we had a family dinner. Everyone that we call family came by for a cookout and to celebrate the April B-days. It was nice to have everyone together and it was nice to have some help with Todd. I think he enjoyed the family being there...

Here are some pics of the day and forgive me that I don't have Ty with Todd's parents (he was out playing in the neighborhood.)



As you can see, I am going in reverse but I am getting to Todd's doctor appointment next. :)

On Wednesday, Todd was scheduled for his Avastin and to see Tiffany. I now have to juggle how we get him places since I struggle transferring him in and out of the car. I found a place here in Knoxville that I can rent a handicap accessible van. I thought I would try this out... It was a bit pricey however it was worth its weight in gold! I got Todd into the big wheel chair, hit the button, wheeled him up into the van and strapped him in. Off to the Dr we went...

Once we got to the hospital, things seemed to go downhill pretty quick, relativity speaking . I went back with him to get his blood work done and they couldn't find a vein... She prodded for a few mins and finally found a vein in one of his finger/knuckles area-ouch. I then took him to the waiting area to wait for his infusion. While there I had to give them my new insurance info and go through that rig-a-ma-roo... Todd decided he had to go to the bathroom while waiting and I knew that wasn't going to go well... I took him into the bathroom where he couldn't get his legs underneath him and he started to slip from me... I called for help-no one was around, looked for phone to call Tiffany-phone had fallen from chair and across the floor. Todd and I started to fuss at each other as I was close to panic and then I started calling for help again. Finally, a few of the infusion nurses came to my rescue... I was pissed and hurt all in one because I can't believe this is what our lives have come to. One of the infusion nurses who has been treating Todd from the beginning came and hugged me and told me how badly it hurts her every time she sees Todd. I pretty much lost it from there... I grabbed a soda, regained my composure and went outside to sit on a bench. While on the bench, I cried...

No need to keep on crying... Tiffany, the NP, summons me to her office where I learned 2 things: 1. didn't have new insurance approval so they were working on that and 2. his blood pressure was so high that they couldn't start the infusion (well we just had a bathroom episode so..) So a waiting we will go....Finally after 2 hours, I was called back to where Todd was so I could sit in the infusion room with him. Tiffany came back as she is apparently a IV ninja and she tried to find a vein for them to start. After 30 min and 2 nurses, they opted to call it quits and forgo the Avastin for the day.

In addition to his blood pressure being high, his other counts were a bit low and we were told to go home... I felt like I had been run over. All is well now and we will try things again on another day.

Avastin has been officially called off for the time being until we see the next scan which is on April 26.

So I think you all are all caught up on our lives. Ty is doing ok and still continuing to be a big help around the house. I continue to sing praises about all the people who are helping us... I truly worry what happens when the day comes that I am trying to do this all by myself! One day reality will hit and it sure won't be fun.

I think we have been a full 6 weeks now where Todd needs consistent 'watching' and is fully bed bound. I have no choice but to continue to stay strong and composed for my family...even when I get sad over the silly stuff. It's amazing how much we take for granted in life... when you have a crappy day, who is the first person you call-your spouse, when you have something funny to say, who do you call-your spouse, when you have a parenting issue, who do you call-your spouse. Who do I call? All of you all now... I would really like for life to go back to 'normal,' whatever that may be!

Ohhh, didn't mean to go on my ramble above.

Here's my prayer list for the week....

Please continue to pray for my friend Sheri Slusser as her and her family are struggling to figure out what is going on with Josh. Last I heard, they think his cancer has spread to his spinal fluid and he might have meningitis. They have an almost 3 year old. She's been a GREAT cancer texting partner with me. We have never met but I feel like we could conquer the world together!

In addition, a long time family friend of Todd, Lynsey Newton lost her husband last week to cancer. I texted with her hours before and although she knew the end was near and she had made peace with it, it still is never easy. Her and Tim had a 5 year old daughter... they were in their early 30's.

Lastly.. a prayer for a high school friend who prays for us consistently... Jenna Sanders. I have linked her blog here. Her brother in law was killed on Easter Sunday in a freak accident.

No one ever said life was easy or given to us... Hug those around you... Tell those around you that you love them.. Smile at strangers. :)

As always, Thanks for everything that you all have been giving/doing for us. We appreciate every ounce!

Keep us in your prayers over the next few weeks!

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The Clan...